I don’t know how I managed to start thinking about this concept when I woke up this morning, but it came into my head. I grew up in a working-class white neighborhood and community, and while there was a ton of great things that I learned from living there, like everything else in life, it came with some obvious caveats.
I’m not sure if this is part of the male experience in general, but where I’m from, if you’re a man and you put any effort into the way that you look at all, that’s grounds for being called a “fag” and possibly getting your ass kicked.
When I moved to the city, I noticed this idea doesn’t really exist. When I go out on the weekends, if I dress good, people will tell me that I look cool and what not.
But back home, If you wear a suit, or you’re wearing accessories at all that suggest that you put more than 5 minutes into what you decided to wear that morning, you’re probably going to have to fight someone if you’re from out of town, or if you’re not accepted as one of the “cool” people.
(For example, if you dressed like this guy down below, someone would probably have a problem with you)
This is a changing ideal, though. I notice in the city, kids (boys) that are coming up, the next generation, they all seem to put in an effort into the way that they look.
It’s not “gay” or whatever ad hominem attack you can think of.
Back home, you basically have two career options to choose from. You can either work in the trades, whether it be an electrician or in construction, or you can work on a farm for someone.
On some level, it kind of makes sense as to why wearing good clothes isn’t pragmatic. If you have to go into the barn at 6:00 AM or go into the garage at 9:00 AM than it doesn’t suit you to wear good clothing to work. Your clothes will get all kinds of fucked up.
Here in the city, you can wear good clothing to work because you probably work in an air-conditioned environment or in a restaurant, bar, club, or what have you.
With that being said, I’m glad that I’m not in that environment anymore. As someone who is trying to be in the top 0.01% financially, physically, mentally, and stylistically, to be around those kinds of people isn’t great for you. You want to be around the kinds of people who are encouraging of you being the best you can be in every way.
If you’re reading the blog, don’t hesitate to comment on what it was like growing up as a boy or young man wherever you’re from, and how men shame each other when they’re trying to be better.
Because, at the end of the day, it’s just a shaming tactic to stop you from being better. If you’re trying to look better than everyone else, in that small working-class town anyway, someone will try and shame you so you stop trying.