I think I’m not alone when I say that a lot of us go through many phases in life. Chris Douedes once said that “life is a series of phases,” and I agree with that entirely. At first, I didn’t really, but now I can see the truth. This relates to many different aspects of life, but for today, we’re only going to look at one side of it.
When I was a young kid, I had a very angry, sad, bitter phase that lasted from 14-years-of-age all the way until I was 24, to be honest with you.
This phase led me to be conniving in some ways.
I dont think Im much different from others.
I think it’s easy for human beings to be opportunistic.
We will be nice when we want something, but when there is nothing for us to gain we will be a different person.
This is no good.
Lately, when I talk to people there is a genuine warmth and an inclination toward being fun, rather than feeling self-conscious and like I need to portray myself as some kind of “asshole,” although I was never that bad for that.
I think this stems from not only being opportunistic but also from being hurt in the past and wanting to avoid it in the future.
We all have memories of being fucked with on some level.
Everyone has had experiences that sit dormant in the back of our minds and occasionally creep up and rear their ugly heads.
Because of these negative experiences – trauma if you want to call it that – we can be mean to other people because we’re trying to get something from the interaction, whatever it is.
It could be validation, pussy, or what have you.
There’s an old biblical saying that goes something like, “Fill your own cup and don’t look to others fill your cup.”
I hate to repeat cliché tropes from the self-development community, but it’s important to find meaning in your life.
And what is “meaning” exactly?
From my perspective, “meaning” is just finding things that you like to do and are fun; things which are genuinely fun; things that make you feel good about yourself.
For me, meaning comes from many different things.
I find meaning from going to the gym.
I find meaning from caring about what I put into my body.
I find meaning from meeting women and having fun.
I find meaning from music.
I find meaning from creating music.
I find meaning from practicing French.
I find meaning from even simple things like cleaning my apartment.
I find meaning from putting an effort into the way that I look.
I find meaning from figuring out ways in which I can be better.
It really doesn’t have to go much deeper than this.
You don’t have to read ancient philosophy to figure this shit out.
But then again, if delving into philosophy is something you genuinely enjoy, then of course that gives your life meaning as well.
Once you figure out how to make yourself feel good without violence, being a dick, drugs or alcohol, then you have effectively found meaning. If you can make yourself feel good in a manner that serves your future self without looking down on others, then you have found meaning. Once you get to this stage, you will find people just like you more. People will think you’re “chill.” You won’t need to act like a dick to get what you want.